It’s 31st July today, and I have just returned home after completing treatment number three. Three down, three to go. Nearly half way, but in truth, the half way point will be just before my fourth treatment which will be on the 20th August.
So, what has happened during these last three weeks? At the end of my last blog I wrote that I was hoping to go for a walk with Colin, and we did. I am finding that I am not getting enough exercise, and my body is craving exercise. Colin and I go for two or three walks a week, which is not enough for me. To compensate, I walk to the shops a couple of times a day, and go for a walk occasionally with friends. I need to start playing badminton again! The treatment doesn’t seem to bother me at all. Perhaps the only side effect I notice is a slight weariness during the first week, but it isn’t bad enough for it to affect me greatly. Physically I am really well. Mentally, the whole business is a strain. It is a long journey and the deeper you get into it, the longer it seems to get. Most of my friends say how quickly it is passing, but for me, it is slow. I feel low, I feel sad and I get depressed often, especially if I’m home alone. There are many tears. I would not wish this on anyone. It is a long hard road.
Last weekend was a happy release from my sadness. Graham, Nicole and the children came and stayed with us. It was lovely to see them. We met them in the city on Saturday afternoon and had some lunch. We then decided a trip up the river was a good idea—and it was. At home we ate the best seafood marinara I’ve ever tasted. The seafood was fresh from Victoria Market that morning. I made the sauce, and Nicole prepared the seafood. On Sunday, Grandma and Grandpa took Lachy and Jessica to the park just around the corner from home. They loved it. At lunch time, we all went down to Ricketts Point and walked along the beach, then had lunch in the cafe. They left from there and it was sad to see them go. They live so far away, and I don’t think we’ll see them again until Christmas.
On the Tuesday following, my friends Audrey, Margaret and Wyn, went to our local library where they were showing the original version of “To Kill A Mocking Bird” starring the gorgeous Gregory Peck. It was a great movie, and Gregory was just wonderful. The following evening, Colin and I went to watch “The Merchant of Venice”. Al Pacino was great as Shylock. It was another good movie.
I have to keep finding things like this to do. This is what helps me over the bad days, otherwise I would go crazy.
On Monday I go and see about my radiotherapy. I have to go every day for six weeks once I have finished my Chemo. I envisage having to wait the obligatory three weeks following my final Chemo treatment before they start on the radiotherapy treatment. It’s a long long road!!!
Friday, 31 July 2009
Friday, 17 July 2009
FRIDAY !7TH JULY
FRIDAY 17TH JUNE
It is a few weeks since I have written my blog. My 2nd Chemo treatment was last Thursday, 9th July. The nervousness I felt the first time I had treatment was gone. This time I knew what to expect. I did have one experience which I don’t want repeated!! A male oncology nurse was given the job of putting in my drip. He looked very nervous as he was getting the trolley ready. It took him a long time to find all that he needed, and he did it in slow motion. His body language was telling me that he did not want the job. But it was his job, and he had to do it. I have good veins, so he had no problem finding a good vein. He picked the biggest vein in the back of my hand and started to press in the needle. He was struggling, but he got it in. He then had to clear the way with some saline solution. As soon as he started to inject the saline, the skin started to blow up with the saline. He turned to the nurses immediately, and admitted a mistake. He had gone right through the vein and pushed the needle into the flesh! Phillipa, the senior nurse, came over and took over. Thank goodness. She found another vein towards my wrist and did the job without a problem. I have requested not to have the male nurse again! Apart from that incident, all went well. It took about 3 hours to drip the cocktail into my body, and once done, I was taken up to the ward for the night.
I spent a peaceful night on the ward in a single room, so was asleep early. I awoke on Friday morning feeling good. By 9.30 I was back on the oncology ward to have an injection into the stomach. I think that’s to help with bone strength. By 10.00am, I was home.
My days following treatment were as the first time. I have had no real side effects of which to speak. Perhaps I feel more tired on the Tuesday following treatment. Unfortunately, there is something else appearing on the scene---Sadness, dejection. It's not depression, but I am very weepy. I get ‘down’ at the drop of a hat. I try not to look in the mirror at myself, but our bathrooms are all mirrors. It's a sad thing I see looking back at me. I wish I could laugh at myself, but I can't. I now look like the typical ‘cancer victim’--not a hair on my head. It looks terrible. I am nearly at the middle of my Chemotherapy, and I am wondering......Is it doing what it is supposed to be doing....killing any stray cancer cells if they are there? It’s a frightening thought. I try and stay positive.
I am getting weary of well meaning people telling me how well I look and how brave I am. I do look well because I wear a wig and no-one sees the cancer patient that I see in the mirror each day. I am NOT brave at all---I have NO choice but to go through with this treatment. I put on the act that I feel great and all is well with the world, but in truth, I have reached a low point and feel sad and miserable.
I try to carry on with my life as normally as I can. I am still doing the coffee rounds with friends, and I go to my badminton club on a Monday evening and a Wednesday lunch time. Seeing all my friends lifts my spirits enormously. They are my biggest asset. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I will never be able to thank them enough.
Today is a beautiful day, and I’m hoping that Colin will want a walk in the sunshine. I need some exercise, and walking is the only thing I can do at the moment. Under my arm is still numb from the operation. The nerves are healing very slowly, so I have no feeling from under my armpit to just above my elbow.
Treatment number three is on 30th July....Roll on 30th July.
It is a few weeks since I have written my blog. My 2nd Chemo treatment was last Thursday, 9th July. The nervousness I felt the first time I had treatment was gone. This time I knew what to expect. I did have one experience which I don’t want repeated!! A male oncology nurse was given the job of putting in my drip. He looked very nervous as he was getting the trolley ready. It took him a long time to find all that he needed, and he did it in slow motion. His body language was telling me that he did not want the job. But it was his job, and he had to do it. I have good veins, so he had no problem finding a good vein. He picked the biggest vein in the back of my hand and started to press in the needle. He was struggling, but he got it in. He then had to clear the way with some saline solution. As soon as he started to inject the saline, the skin started to blow up with the saline. He turned to the nurses immediately, and admitted a mistake. He had gone right through the vein and pushed the needle into the flesh! Phillipa, the senior nurse, came over and took over. Thank goodness. She found another vein towards my wrist and did the job without a problem. I have requested not to have the male nurse again! Apart from that incident, all went well. It took about 3 hours to drip the cocktail into my body, and once done, I was taken up to the ward for the night.
I spent a peaceful night on the ward in a single room, so was asleep early. I awoke on Friday morning feeling good. By 9.30 I was back on the oncology ward to have an injection into the stomach. I think that’s to help with bone strength. By 10.00am, I was home.
My days following treatment were as the first time. I have had no real side effects of which to speak. Perhaps I feel more tired on the Tuesday following treatment. Unfortunately, there is something else appearing on the scene---Sadness, dejection. It's not depression, but I am very weepy. I get ‘down’ at the drop of a hat. I try not to look in the mirror at myself, but our bathrooms are all mirrors. It's a sad thing I see looking back at me. I wish I could laugh at myself, but I can't. I now look like the typical ‘cancer victim’--not a hair on my head. It looks terrible. I am nearly at the middle of my Chemotherapy, and I am wondering......Is it doing what it is supposed to be doing....killing any stray cancer cells if they are there? It’s a frightening thought. I try and stay positive.
I am getting weary of well meaning people telling me how well I look and how brave I am. I do look well because I wear a wig and no-one sees the cancer patient that I see in the mirror each day. I am NOT brave at all---I have NO choice but to go through with this treatment. I put on the act that I feel great and all is well with the world, but in truth, I have reached a low point and feel sad and miserable.
I try to carry on with my life as normally as I can. I am still doing the coffee rounds with friends, and I go to my badminton club on a Monday evening and a Wednesday lunch time. Seeing all my friends lifts my spirits enormously. They are my biggest asset. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I will never be able to thank them enough.
Today is a beautiful day, and I’m hoping that Colin will want a walk in the sunshine. I need some exercise, and walking is the only thing I can do at the moment. Under my arm is still numb from the operation. The nerves are healing very slowly, so I have no feeling from under my armpit to just above my elbow.
Treatment number three is on 30th July....Roll on 30th July.
Friday, 3 July 2009
FRIDAY 3rd JULY
Friday 3rd July
I am feeling really well. Since seeing the Oncologist last Thursday, I have continued to improve each day. I am feeling so well, there is a distinct danger that I will forget to take my medication, which protects my body from infections. I was warned to stay clear of enclosed places, (cinemas, supermarkets, shopping centres etc,) from days 6-11. At this time, the immune system is at rock bottom, so it would be very easy to pick up coughs and colds, or worse! Not wanting to delay any treatment, I do as I am told. I still see my friends, usually for coffee at our local coffee shop. If they have colds, they don’t come. Everyone is incredibly thoughtful.
Last Sunday was Joelle’s birthday, so Colin and I drove up the Hume Highway to Longwood to visit them. We arrived at their house at 12.30, and hopped into Andrew’s car. He told us we were going out for lunch—50ks up the road to a place called Yarck. Yarck---population---very few!!! But, there was a pub and a restaurant. We enjoyed a beautiful meal and a bottle of red at the quaint weatherboard restaurant. It never seizes to amaze me that you can eat a high class meal in the middle of nowhere, easily as classy as any meal in a city restaurant.
We bought Joelle a slow cooker for her birthday and the first meal she cooked in it, was a piece of silverside. We ate it on Sunday night. It was cooked to perfection, of course. It was delicious. I brought up a Mud cake and covered it with candles. It heated the room and it took Joelle two blows to blow all the candles out. How many candles!!!!!Lots!!!
My traumatic day was on Monday 29th June. I had an appointment with Terry, my hairdresser. I asked him to shave my head. It was very emotional, but I had done most of my crying at home. It was only when he said how brave I was, that he had to give me a tissue. I am not brave, but I am practical. I have no choice in this situation. I didn’t want to see my hair falling out in clumps and leaving bald patches. So until all my hair goes, probably within a week, I have a number one hair cut!!! It is not a pretty sight, but a sight both Colin and I will have to get used to. I took my wig along, and Terry trimmed it, and when I wear it, (nearly all the time) it is hard to tell that it’s not my hair---Well, that’s what everyone tells me. But I must say, it is a good likeness to me, it’s just not as fine as my hair.
Colin and I go out for lunch a couple of times a week, often to Helen’s cafe in Black Rock. We’ve got to know Dominic, her old boss, and he always stops and has a chat with us. Mind you, he chats to most people!
This Saturday, the Victorian Racing Club has invited us into the Committee Room for the day. The timing couldn’t be better as it is only 5 days to my 2nd treatment, so my immune system should be fully functional. It's a sumptuous affair when everyone dresses as if for royalty. We mix with the committee and dinner and afternoon tea are provided. The food is always magnificent. It is about 10 years since we were last invited so it will be another 10 years before we get another invitation. I will be wearing a wig on Saturday, but hopefully, nobody will even notice!
Next week is a busy week. I’ll drive over to badminton on Monday night as usual, to see the girls. On Tuesday, I have my coffee morning with a few friends, and in the evening, Colin and I are going into the city to see Richard Gill, (conductor) and listen to the Australian Orchestra playing popular classical music. On Wednesday, after my coffee afternoon with more of my friends, it’s ‘Girls Night Out’ with my badminton buddies. I can’t wait.
Then it will be Thursday and time for treatment no.2.......
I am feeling really well. Since seeing the Oncologist last Thursday, I have continued to improve each day. I am feeling so well, there is a distinct danger that I will forget to take my medication, which protects my body from infections. I was warned to stay clear of enclosed places, (cinemas, supermarkets, shopping centres etc,) from days 6-11. At this time, the immune system is at rock bottom, so it would be very easy to pick up coughs and colds, or worse! Not wanting to delay any treatment, I do as I am told. I still see my friends, usually for coffee at our local coffee shop. If they have colds, they don’t come. Everyone is incredibly thoughtful.
Last Sunday was Joelle’s birthday, so Colin and I drove up the Hume Highway to Longwood to visit them. We arrived at their house at 12.30, and hopped into Andrew’s car. He told us we were going out for lunch—50ks up the road to a place called Yarck. Yarck---population---very few!!! But, there was a pub and a restaurant. We enjoyed a beautiful meal and a bottle of red at the quaint weatherboard restaurant. It never seizes to amaze me that you can eat a high class meal in the middle of nowhere, easily as classy as any meal in a city restaurant.
We bought Joelle a slow cooker for her birthday and the first meal she cooked in it, was a piece of silverside. We ate it on Sunday night. It was cooked to perfection, of course. It was delicious. I brought up a Mud cake and covered it with candles. It heated the room and it took Joelle two blows to blow all the candles out. How many candles!!!!!Lots!!!
My traumatic day was on Monday 29th June. I had an appointment with Terry, my hairdresser. I asked him to shave my head. It was very emotional, but I had done most of my crying at home. It was only when he said how brave I was, that he had to give me a tissue. I am not brave, but I am practical. I have no choice in this situation. I didn’t want to see my hair falling out in clumps and leaving bald patches. So until all my hair goes, probably within a week, I have a number one hair cut!!! It is not a pretty sight, but a sight both Colin and I will have to get used to. I took my wig along, and Terry trimmed it, and when I wear it, (nearly all the time) it is hard to tell that it’s not my hair---Well, that’s what everyone tells me. But I must say, it is a good likeness to me, it’s just not as fine as my hair.
Colin and I go out for lunch a couple of times a week, often to Helen’s cafe in Black Rock. We’ve got to know Dominic, her old boss, and he always stops and has a chat with us. Mind you, he chats to most people!
This Saturday, the Victorian Racing Club has invited us into the Committee Room for the day. The timing couldn’t be better as it is only 5 days to my 2nd treatment, so my immune system should be fully functional. It's a sumptuous affair when everyone dresses as if for royalty. We mix with the committee and dinner and afternoon tea are provided. The food is always magnificent. It is about 10 years since we were last invited so it will be another 10 years before we get another invitation. I will be wearing a wig on Saturday, but hopefully, nobody will even notice!
Next week is a busy week. I’ll drive over to badminton on Monday night as usual, to see the girls. On Tuesday, I have my coffee morning with a few friends, and in the evening, Colin and I are going into the city to see Richard Gill, (conductor) and listen to the Australian Orchestra playing popular classical music. On Wednesday, after my coffee afternoon with more of my friends, it’s ‘Girls Night Out’ with my badminton buddies. I can’t wait.
Then it will be Thursday and time for treatment no.2.......
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