My final radiotherapy treatment was on Thursday December 3rd. That was my red letter day. Not only did I finish all my treatment, but I also saw Peter, my surgeon. I am to have another mammogram before I see him on the 10th May, 2010. He tells me it will be painful. They will take a lot of images, and I will worry that they have found something....but, he says....they won't find anything. What a comfort he is.
The radiotherapy was a doddle. I had 25 treatments over the course of 6 weeks. My left breast is very sunburnt, but apart from that, I feel really well. The tiredness I expected, has not happened. In fact I feel so well, that I'm going to have a hit at badminton on Monday night. That's when I'll find out my energy levels!!!
There are two issues remaining from the chemotherapy; 1) My tingling and numb hands and feet are still bad after 9 weeks. One of my big toe nails dropped off last week and it looks as if I could lose more; 2)The thrush infection in my mouth, which developed during my third chemo treatment, is improving very slowly with medication.
The surgery has left me with lymphoedema of my left arm, and is unfortunately a lifetime issue. I am determined not to let it beat me. I have ordered a pressure sleeve which I will have to wear when I am travelling, especially when I'm flying. I am seeing Avril, who is fantastic at lymph drainage. She believes she can get my arm back to normal, and I believe she can, given time. It's a slow process but I believe I caught it just in time.
My hair is growing, albeit very slowly. I hate the grey, but Pete says I can colour it. I was under the impression that I wouldn't be able to colour my hair for at least 6 months because of the chemicals. He used the word 'bullshit' on that idea. He is a very conservative man, so I believe him. It's still too short to colour, but as soon as it's long enough, it'll be done. Perhaps, then, I'll get my identity back, which I felt I lost when I lost my hair. Until then, the wig stays on!! It's a good wig. People who don't know about my cancer, don't know it's a wig. It's so like my own hair.
As I look back on the last 6 months, I have had one hell of a tough journey. It was emotional, it was painful, and it made me very sick. I did believe, at the beginning of my treatment, that I was strong and fit, and that I would get through the treatment without too much bother. I couldn't have been more wrong!! It is the hardest thing I have ever tackled in my life. I am very happy it is over. The recovery, I am told,will take a year from the end of treatment. I want to do better than that. I am feeling stronger each day, so in another 12 to 16 weeks I hope to be back to my old self again.
It was not exactly the holiday Colin and I had planned. But there is always next year, and I hope many more years ....thank goodness!!
Friday, 4 December 2009
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Next Stage-RADIATION
My 1st radiation treatment was on Thursday 29th October, exactly 4 weeks after my final Chemotherapy treatment. It’s a doddle after the chemo. I drive to Monash Medical Centre on Centre Road, Bentleigh, and register my name at the radiology department desk, and within a couple of minutes, I’m called through. I undress to my waist and put on a gown. Another wait in another waiting room, but only for a minute, and I’m into the radiology room. Before every treatment I must state my name, address, date of birth and what part of the body they are treating. I then lie down on the bed. The girls check the measurements and make sure they are absolutely accurate, and then leave the room. They turn on the radiology beams for 24 seconds from two different angles, 12seconds from each angle. There is no pain. It’s easy. Today I completed my ninth of 25 treatments. Generally I have to go five days a week until the treatment is completed although this week I only have 4 treatments. I don't know the reason why. There will be side effects to the treatment. In a few days, my skin will start to redden and it will look sun burnt. It will become tender, but I have cream to rub on, which I do twice a day. I am hoping that's all that happens, as the stage after is much worse. The skin starts to peel and becomes an open wound. This can be very painful. I will wait and see. It is early days.
As easy as the radiation treatment is, the Chemo treatment continues to cause me pain and distress. My hands and feet are still tingling and yet feel numb at the same time. They are surprisingly painful. I cannot bear to touch them, and in bed, the sheets rub against my toes, causing me much pain. I still have numbness around my lips and down my back. My leg muscles still feel fatigued when I go for a walk, and I often have to stop and catch my breath. That has eased slightly in the last week. Another development is Lymphoedema of the left arm. It frightened me at first, but Nicole, my daughter in law, is an Occupational Therapist, and has done a bit on Lymph Drainage. Graham, Nicole and the kids were staying with us for the Spring Carnival, and she helped enormously by doing some Lymph drainage on my arm. On Thursday (12th) this week, I am going to see a specialist in Lymph drainage, who I hope will help me rid myself of all the fluid, and give me advice on how to treat it if it appears again. I am also getting booked into the Lymphoedema Clinic at Monash Medical Centre. They will take over the management of my problem, and also measure me for a sleeve to wear when I am travelling. It definitely doesn’t rain, but it pours. What else can happen????
On the bright side, I can taste food again, and have been able to for a couple of weeks now, though I believe I still have an infection of thrush in my mouth. I will have to check with my oncologist if he can prescribe something stronger than the lozenges he prescribed before, as I believe my body must be immune to them.
I have seen two of my Chemo friends since my final treatment. Last Friday I met Stella, another breast cancer patient, for lunch. She is my mentor, a wonderful person. We just hit it off. I am so pleased I met her. She calls a spade a spade, and she would tell me what I was in for when I went in for my Chemo. She was one Chemo treatment ahead of me. Since I saw her last, she has had a mastectomy. Her tumour had reduced enough to do the operation. She will now go on and do her radiation treatment, and her prognosis has changed from being not so good to very good.
Last Sunday, Colin and I went out with Sally and her husband Kevin. Sally had ovarian cancer. She is in remission now and is very happy with how well the treatment worked. We went for Yum Cha to a restaurant in Bentleigh that Colin and I had never been to before. The food was lovely, and it was great to catch up with her again. We will do it again soon.
And so life goes on. I have been told that side effects can last for anything up to one or two years, though it seems generally that they disappear within 3 to 6 months. Even a few months are too long. It’s a very long hard and emotional journey. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
My hair is 3 millimetres long. It is grey on top and snow white down the sides. YUK!!
As easy as the radiation treatment is, the Chemo treatment continues to cause me pain and distress. My hands and feet are still tingling and yet feel numb at the same time. They are surprisingly painful. I cannot bear to touch them, and in bed, the sheets rub against my toes, causing me much pain. I still have numbness around my lips and down my back. My leg muscles still feel fatigued when I go for a walk, and I often have to stop and catch my breath. That has eased slightly in the last week. Another development is Lymphoedema of the left arm. It frightened me at first, but Nicole, my daughter in law, is an Occupational Therapist, and has done a bit on Lymph Drainage. Graham, Nicole and the kids were staying with us for the Spring Carnival, and she helped enormously by doing some Lymph drainage on my arm. On Thursday (12th) this week, I am going to see a specialist in Lymph drainage, who I hope will help me rid myself of all the fluid, and give me advice on how to treat it if it appears again. I am also getting booked into the Lymphoedema Clinic at Monash Medical Centre. They will take over the management of my problem, and also measure me for a sleeve to wear when I am travelling. It definitely doesn’t rain, but it pours. What else can happen????
On the bright side, I can taste food again, and have been able to for a couple of weeks now, though I believe I still have an infection of thrush in my mouth. I will have to check with my oncologist if he can prescribe something stronger than the lozenges he prescribed before, as I believe my body must be immune to them.
I have seen two of my Chemo friends since my final treatment. Last Friday I met Stella, another breast cancer patient, for lunch. She is my mentor, a wonderful person. We just hit it off. I am so pleased I met her. She calls a spade a spade, and she would tell me what I was in for when I went in for my Chemo. She was one Chemo treatment ahead of me. Since I saw her last, she has had a mastectomy. Her tumour had reduced enough to do the operation. She will now go on and do her radiation treatment, and her prognosis has changed from being not so good to very good.
Last Sunday, Colin and I went out with Sally and her husband Kevin. Sally had ovarian cancer. She is in remission now and is very happy with how well the treatment worked. We went for Yum Cha to a restaurant in Bentleigh that Colin and I had never been to before. The food was lovely, and it was great to catch up with her again. We will do it again soon.
And so life goes on. I have been told that side effects can last for anything up to one or two years, though it seems generally that they disappear within 3 to 6 months. Even a few months are too long. It’s a very long hard and emotional journey. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
My hair is 3 millimetres long. It is grey on top and snow white down the sides. YUK!!
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
MY FINAL CHEMO TREATMENT
For my final entry on the Chemo treatment, I wanted to write a day by day account so that I could read back in a few years, just what I had endured. I started out with good intentions knowing that the first and second days were the easy days. I am afraid my good intentions evaporated quickly as the effects of the Taxotere took over my body. I must have been dreaming to think that I could even lift a pen on the worst days, so my blow by blow account will be, as usual, from memory.
My final Chemo was on Thursday 1st October at 10.30am. There were many new patients on the Oncology ward. Those people I had got to know, had finished their treatments, and were all hopefully on the mend. But my friend Stella arrived. She was continuing her journey with the drug “Herceptin” which she will have intravenously, once every three weeks, for a year. I will make sure I stay in touch with her.
There is an obvious build up of chemicals in my body with each treatment. This time, I felt that I had barely recovered from treatment 5, and here I was having treatment number 6. Colin drives me to the hospital and comes into the ward with me. He waits for the nurses to hook me up, and then leaves until I phone him to come and pick me up. Today’s treatment took three and a half hours to administer. Most of the time I feel drowsy, I assume it’s because of the drugs they give you. First is the saline to flush the veins. They add a couple of drugs to the drip to help against nausea and ward off infection, and then they add the Taxotere. Saline is given at the end as a final flush. All done...I can go home. I always feel well for the first couple of days. There must be something in the drugs that puts you on a high. Unfortunately, it comes to an end all too soon.
On Friday morning, I drive back to the hospital for my $2000.00 injection. Luckily, I don’t have to pay for it. Good job, it’s the 6th one I’ve had!!! As a parting gift to the nurses, I give some beautiful handmade chocolates. They do such a great job, and as lovely as the nurses are, I hope I don’t have to see them again in that ward.
I felt good Thursday, Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday. This was so much longer than usual. Perhaps this time, the side effects weren’t going to be as bad!!!! Gary had said he would reduce the chemicals by 10% because I had reacted so strongly and badly to the treatment.
On Saturday, Colin and I went to the races as usual. I sat inside all afternoon. It was too cold outside. It was a pleasant quiet afternoon. We had lunch, and Col wandered off to watch the horses. We were home by 5.30pm. In the evening, we went off to see “High Society” at one of the local theatres-“CLOC”. They are such a good company, although we felt this was not up to their usual standard. However, it was a good night out.
Kerry-Lou rang on Sunday morning, and invited us over for an early BBQ at 5pm. I felt OK when I said yes, but as the day progressed, I wondered whether it was the right thing to do. I was not feeling too good as we drove to their house, but I decided I could cope for a couple of hours. So at 7pm I asked if we could leave. I could feel the rot setting in.
The pain which I had endured in my 1st Taxotere was now minimal, thanks to the patch Gary had prescribed, but there is no escaping the lethargy. Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday I hardly strayed from the bedroom. As the lethargy continues, the nausea and general feeling of illness begins and then takes over. Each day, as the white blood corpuscles are destroyed, the feeling of being ill, overwhelms the body. The digestive system is a mess, my skin starts to dry out and irritate me. My mouth is dry, and there is an infection of thrush starting up again, and even worse...the ulcers start to appear on the tongue. By the time Thursday comes round, and I have to see Gary again, the lethargy and nausea is gone. In truth, this 3rd Taxotere was not as severe as the last two, but it’s still not good.
I ask Gary my prognosis, and without hesitation, he tells me that I will make a full recovery. He will put me on the drug “Promera” for 5 years. This drug stops the oestrogen in the body, which is what feeds my cancer. There are side effects from this drug. It raises Cholesterol levels in the body, and it attacks the bone density. I will have both these tested before I see him on January 14th. There will be regular testing to keep an eye on things. I will have to take fish oil tablets and glucosamine to help lubricate my joints as there may be some pain. Even with all that to contend with, I left his office on a high. It was good news.
My 3rd Taxotere, however, is still not finished. After a week, the side effects continue. My feet and hands feel as if they are burning. They redden as if they have been sitting in very hot water. They tingle with numbness, and my finger nails and the tips of my fingers hurt, as do my feet. I wonder how long this will take to disappear. It certainly hadn’t gone before I went for my last treatment! My cheeks, my nose, my lips and the upper part of my back feel numb. It is a very unpleasant feeling and it’s there all day every day. My eyes water and the tears run down my cheeks and make them sore. The skin is very tender on my face. Food has no taste....no that’s wrong...food tastes awful. I eat a lot of soup. I have to mash solid food to a pulp because of my sore mouth. A new side effect has appeared in the last few days. My muscles ache. I can only walk slowly and yet it feels as if they have run 400 metres. I am also feeling weary, much more so than I have before. I hope this goes before I begin my radiotherapy. I know that makes the body weary.
It is now 2 weeks since my final treatment. The numbness in my feet, hands and round my mouth persists. The muscles still ache, I am weary. I have to keep telling myself that it will all be gone in a couple of weeks. Food is beginning to get a little flavouring, but not enough to relish. I am really looking forward to enjoying my food again. When will I be able to celebrate? And when will my hair start to grow. Each day I look, but each day there is no change. I will have to be patient!
My final Chemo was on Thursday 1st October at 10.30am. There were many new patients on the Oncology ward. Those people I had got to know, had finished their treatments, and were all hopefully on the mend. But my friend Stella arrived. She was continuing her journey with the drug “Herceptin” which she will have intravenously, once every three weeks, for a year. I will make sure I stay in touch with her.
There is an obvious build up of chemicals in my body with each treatment. This time, I felt that I had barely recovered from treatment 5, and here I was having treatment number 6. Colin drives me to the hospital and comes into the ward with me. He waits for the nurses to hook me up, and then leaves until I phone him to come and pick me up. Today’s treatment took three and a half hours to administer. Most of the time I feel drowsy, I assume it’s because of the drugs they give you. First is the saline to flush the veins. They add a couple of drugs to the drip to help against nausea and ward off infection, and then they add the Taxotere. Saline is given at the end as a final flush. All done...I can go home. I always feel well for the first couple of days. There must be something in the drugs that puts you on a high. Unfortunately, it comes to an end all too soon.
On Friday morning, I drive back to the hospital for my $2000.00 injection. Luckily, I don’t have to pay for it. Good job, it’s the 6th one I’ve had!!! As a parting gift to the nurses, I give some beautiful handmade chocolates. They do such a great job, and as lovely as the nurses are, I hope I don’t have to see them again in that ward.
I felt good Thursday, Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday. This was so much longer than usual. Perhaps this time, the side effects weren’t going to be as bad!!!! Gary had said he would reduce the chemicals by 10% because I had reacted so strongly and badly to the treatment.
On Saturday, Colin and I went to the races as usual. I sat inside all afternoon. It was too cold outside. It was a pleasant quiet afternoon. We had lunch, and Col wandered off to watch the horses. We were home by 5.30pm. In the evening, we went off to see “High Society” at one of the local theatres-“CLOC”. They are such a good company, although we felt this was not up to their usual standard. However, it was a good night out.
Kerry-Lou rang on Sunday morning, and invited us over for an early BBQ at 5pm. I felt OK when I said yes, but as the day progressed, I wondered whether it was the right thing to do. I was not feeling too good as we drove to their house, but I decided I could cope for a couple of hours. So at 7pm I asked if we could leave. I could feel the rot setting in.
The pain which I had endured in my 1st Taxotere was now minimal, thanks to the patch Gary had prescribed, but there is no escaping the lethargy. Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday I hardly strayed from the bedroom. As the lethargy continues, the nausea and general feeling of illness begins and then takes over. Each day, as the white blood corpuscles are destroyed, the feeling of being ill, overwhelms the body. The digestive system is a mess, my skin starts to dry out and irritate me. My mouth is dry, and there is an infection of thrush starting up again, and even worse...the ulcers start to appear on the tongue. By the time Thursday comes round, and I have to see Gary again, the lethargy and nausea is gone. In truth, this 3rd Taxotere was not as severe as the last two, but it’s still not good.
I ask Gary my prognosis, and without hesitation, he tells me that I will make a full recovery. He will put me on the drug “Promera” for 5 years. This drug stops the oestrogen in the body, which is what feeds my cancer. There are side effects from this drug. It raises Cholesterol levels in the body, and it attacks the bone density. I will have both these tested before I see him on January 14th. There will be regular testing to keep an eye on things. I will have to take fish oil tablets and glucosamine to help lubricate my joints as there may be some pain. Even with all that to contend with, I left his office on a high. It was good news.
My 3rd Taxotere, however, is still not finished. After a week, the side effects continue. My feet and hands feel as if they are burning. They redden as if they have been sitting in very hot water. They tingle with numbness, and my finger nails and the tips of my fingers hurt, as do my feet. I wonder how long this will take to disappear. It certainly hadn’t gone before I went for my last treatment! My cheeks, my nose, my lips and the upper part of my back feel numb. It is a very unpleasant feeling and it’s there all day every day. My eyes water and the tears run down my cheeks and make them sore. The skin is very tender on my face. Food has no taste....no that’s wrong...food tastes awful. I eat a lot of soup. I have to mash solid food to a pulp because of my sore mouth. A new side effect has appeared in the last few days. My muscles ache. I can only walk slowly and yet it feels as if they have run 400 metres. I am also feeling weary, much more so than I have before. I hope this goes before I begin my radiotherapy. I know that makes the body weary.
It is now 2 weeks since my final treatment. The numbness in my feet, hands and round my mouth persists. The muscles still ache, I am weary. I have to keep telling myself that it will all be gone in a couple of weeks. Food is beginning to get a little flavouring, but not enough to relish. I am really looking forward to enjoying my food again. When will I be able to celebrate? And when will my hair start to grow. Each day I look, but each day there is no change. I will have to be patient!
Monday, 21 September 2009
TAXOTERE 2
This treatment is Hell. It is 13 days since my 2nd Taxotere treatment, and I have still not recovered. I have ulcers in my mouth which are so sore, I cannot eat solid food. This has been ongoing for a week now. I have also had thrush in my mouth, which is painful. My Oncologist gave me a mouthwash with 1% cocaine, to try and numb my mouth so that I could get food down me. It helped only slightly. Eating is an uphill battle for me. I am desperately hoping that in a couple of days, I will have recovered enough to give me a week’s grace before my final treatment on October 1st. How I would love a hamburger and chips!!!
I have worked out that there are four stages with this particular treatment.
1) The easy days....days 1 and 2 when I feel well and full of energy.
2) Days 3, 4 and 5 there is bone pain. This has been subdued greatly by a prescribed patch which lasts for three days...as long as the pain. At this stage too, there is lethargy. I have no strength in my body to do anything. Even opening my eyes is hard work. Sleep does not help.
3) Days 5, 6 and 7 are when it begins to get really bad. As the pain disappears, the feeling of being unwell takes over. It’s hard to describe. It’s a whole body thing. Perhaps it’s like having flu for three weeks, and you can’t stay upright for more than a few minutes before you have to lie down again.
4) Now that Gary has helped rid me of the worst of the pain, I have decided that stage 4 is the worst stage. It begins during stages 2 and 3. Firstly, there is the thrush infection in the mouth. I have tablets to help, but it is a slow process, and before that clears up, the ulcers appear on my tongue. At the same time, because the skin is being attacked, and I have weak blood vessels in my nose, I get constant nose bleeds. My mouth and lips feel numb, my fingers and toes feel tender. There is a constancy of numbness mixed with a feeling of pins and needles and extreme heat in my feet. When I go to bed, the sheets hurt my feet. It is very uncomfortable. My skin goes red and blotchy. It is not a pretty sight!!!By this time, I am at the end of my tether. I am fed up, and hope that all this is worth the hell through which I am going.
I wondered how I would deal with this treatment before it all began. The outside world thinks I’m doing so well, but in truth, I am not doing well. I’m getting through it only because one day follows another. It has been a tough road. I would not want to do it again.
I have worked out that there are four stages with this particular treatment.
1) The easy days....days 1 and 2 when I feel well and full of energy.
2) Days 3, 4 and 5 there is bone pain. This has been subdued greatly by a prescribed patch which lasts for three days...as long as the pain. At this stage too, there is lethargy. I have no strength in my body to do anything. Even opening my eyes is hard work. Sleep does not help.
3) Days 5, 6 and 7 are when it begins to get really bad. As the pain disappears, the feeling of being unwell takes over. It’s hard to describe. It’s a whole body thing. Perhaps it’s like having flu for three weeks, and you can’t stay upright for more than a few minutes before you have to lie down again.
4) Now that Gary has helped rid me of the worst of the pain, I have decided that stage 4 is the worst stage. It begins during stages 2 and 3. Firstly, there is the thrush infection in the mouth. I have tablets to help, but it is a slow process, and before that clears up, the ulcers appear on my tongue. At the same time, because the skin is being attacked, and I have weak blood vessels in my nose, I get constant nose bleeds. My mouth and lips feel numb, my fingers and toes feel tender. There is a constancy of numbness mixed with a feeling of pins and needles and extreme heat in my feet. When I go to bed, the sheets hurt my feet. It is very uncomfortable. My skin goes red and blotchy. It is not a pretty sight!!!By this time, I am at the end of my tether. I am fed up, and hope that all this is worth the hell through which I am going.
I wondered how I would deal with this treatment before it all began. The outside world thinks I’m doing so well, but in truth, I am not doing well. I’m getting through it only because one day follows another. It has been a tough road. I would not want to do it again.
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
TAXOTERE
I believe that I am slowly recovering from the worst week of my life! Treatment number 4 was certainly no joy ride. I went into the Cabrini Day Oncology ward on Andrew’s 37th birthday, the 20th August, confident that I would deal with this treatment as well as I had dealt with the first three treatments. I was told what to expect..... tiredness, a few aches and pains in my joints and muscles, plus the usual sore mouth, which comes with the low immunity.
It all started much the same as usual. The day of the treatment was fine and for these final three treatments, there is no need to stay in hospital as I did with the first three, so home I came. On Friday morning, I drove back to the hospital to have an injection into my stomach to help with bone strength, and sat in the oncology ward next to my new found friend, Stella, who is one treatment ahead of me. It was all very convivial on the ward. We chatted and laughed, and had morning tea together. Then just before we left, Stella quietly said, “It’ll all start tomorrow Kerry.” When I questioned her, she said that for her, ‘Taxotere’ made her feel like ‘wet spaghetti’, and her muscles ached and she had no energy. I was still confident that I would cope well.
Stella was right. On Saturday afternoon, I could feel my bones beginning to hurt. Colin and I decided a walk was in order. We only did a couple of ks, but I could feel the pain getting progressively stronger with each passing minute. By bedtime, it was a very strong pain all through my lower limbs, up my shins to my knees, and then on up to my hips and lower back. I took a couple of Panadol 500mg. By12.45am, I was at screaming point! I moved to another bedroom, and took an ‘Endone’ tablet, which contains morphine. It knocked me out for a few hours, but the pain was there with a vengeance when I woke early on Sunday. Stella certainly never mentioned pain like this!!
The ‘wet spaghetti’ came at the same time. My whole body was limp, as if it was exhausted. My eyes wouldn’t stay open, but I couldn’t sleep. The pain continued. It was unbearable. On Sunday afternoon, we decided to drive to St. Kilda and take a short walk along the promenade so that I could get some fresh air and a little exercise. It was a slow process, but we managed to get to our usual little cafe, and have a cup of tea. We hoped the walk would ease the pain. We were wrong. Sunday night was a nightmare. I took Panadol at 8pm and an Endone tablet at 10.00pm. The combination of drugs knocked me out for a few hours, but as I was waking up, I was hallucinating. It was all very weird. The pain was still so bad, and it was only 3.00am, so I took another ‘Endone’ tablet, and nodded off for another couple of hours. I was praying that on Monday it would begin to ease. My own rule was to take Panadol during the day, even though they weren’t doing much good, and leave the Endone for night time. All these pain killers were making me feel lousy, and I knew the sooner I got off them the better. But the pain was with me all day Monday. I wanted to die! It was too much for me to bear. I took my final ‘Endone’ tablet at 10.00pm on Monday night, and slept more peacefully. On Tuesday morning, the pain was there, but I felt that it was not so strong. I hoped it would soon be gone. By Wednesday, the pain was gone.
Unfortunately, as one thing disappears, another thing appears. These Chemicals take over the whole body, and kill good cells as well as bad ones. Now my white cell count would be low. My mouth was starting to hurt with a thrush infection, which is a very common complaint with Chemo treatment. By the time I visit the Oncologist on Thursday, I have mouth ulcers as well as thrush. The thrush is easy to deal with, but the ulcers will only go when my white blood count rises, after day 12. Between seeing the Oncologist on day eight, and as I write this missive on day 13, I have had one day when my mouth was so sore I could eat nothing, and three days when all I could manage was liquids. At least today, I have been able to eat more normally. In fact, at last, I am beginning to feel much better.
That treatment was a Battle Royal, and I have two more to go. My Oncologist tells me the next two won’t be as bad. I hope he’s right.
There was some light relief yesterday. I went to a “Look Good Feel Better” seminar. It helps women undergoing treatment for cancer to make them look good and feel better! We had a lesson in make-up, a wig demonstration, and they showed how to wear hats and scarves. They served a beautiful morning tea with sandwiches and fresh fruit. It was fun, and there were lots of laughs. It was most enjoyable. Apparently these seminars are run all over the world, and are financed by the makeup industry. We got lots of samples of makeup in our ‘show bags’.
I was sitting near a woman who had just had her 2nd ‘Taxotere’ treatment and I was interested to know how it had affected her. She described it as worse than ‘FEC’ but she definitely had not been hit like I had. Her muscles ached slightly, and she had some infections. The saddest sight at the seminar was seeing a beautiful young girl, probably in her early thirties, and about 7 months pregnant. I didn’t want to know what the problem was, because I knew it would not be good. On the other hand, it is amazing what they can do nowadays. I wish her a speedy recovery, and hope that all goes well for her.
It all started much the same as usual. The day of the treatment was fine and for these final three treatments, there is no need to stay in hospital as I did with the first three, so home I came. On Friday morning, I drove back to the hospital to have an injection into my stomach to help with bone strength, and sat in the oncology ward next to my new found friend, Stella, who is one treatment ahead of me. It was all very convivial on the ward. We chatted and laughed, and had morning tea together. Then just before we left, Stella quietly said, “It’ll all start tomorrow Kerry.” When I questioned her, she said that for her, ‘Taxotere’ made her feel like ‘wet spaghetti’, and her muscles ached and she had no energy. I was still confident that I would cope well.
Stella was right. On Saturday afternoon, I could feel my bones beginning to hurt. Colin and I decided a walk was in order. We only did a couple of ks, but I could feel the pain getting progressively stronger with each passing minute. By bedtime, it was a very strong pain all through my lower limbs, up my shins to my knees, and then on up to my hips and lower back. I took a couple of Panadol 500mg. By12.45am, I was at screaming point! I moved to another bedroom, and took an ‘Endone’ tablet, which contains morphine. It knocked me out for a few hours, but the pain was there with a vengeance when I woke early on Sunday. Stella certainly never mentioned pain like this!!
The ‘wet spaghetti’ came at the same time. My whole body was limp, as if it was exhausted. My eyes wouldn’t stay open, but I couldn’t sleep. The pain continued. It was unbearable. On Sunday afternoon, we decided to drive to St. Kilda and take a short walk along the promenade so that I could get some fresh air and a little exercise. It was a slow process, but we managed to get to our usual little cafe, and have a cup of tea. We hoped the walk would ease the pain. We were wrong. Sunday night was a nightmare. I took Panadol at 8pm and an Endone tablet at 10.00pm. The combination of drugs knocked me out for a few hours, but as I was waking up, I was hallucinating. It was all very weird. The pain was still so bad, and it was only 3.00am, so I took another ‘Endone’ tablet, and nodded off for another couple of hours. I was praying that on Monday it would begin to ease. My own rule was to take Panadol during the day, even though they weren’t doing much good, and leave the Endone for night time. All these pain killers were making me feel lousy, and I knew the sooner I got off them the better. But the pain was with me all day Monday. I wanted to die! It was too much for me to bear. I took my final ‘Endone’ tablet at 10.00pm on Monday night, and slept more peacefully. On Tuesday morning, the pain was there, but I felt that it was not so strong. I hoped it would soon be gone. By Wednesday, the pain was gone.
Unfortunately, as one thing disappears, another thing appears. These Chemicals take over the whole body, and kill good cells as well as bad ones. Now my white cell count would be low. My mouth was starting to hurt with a thrush infection, which is a very common complaint with Chemo treatment. By the time I visit the Oncologist on Thursday, I have mouth ulcers as well as thrush. The thrush is easy to deal with, but the ulcers will only go when my white blood count rises, after day 12. Between seeing the Oncologist on day eight, and as I write this missive on day 13, I have had one day when my mouth was so sore I could eat nothing, and three days when all I could manage was liquids. At least today, I have been able to eat more normally. In fact, at last, I am beginning to feel much better.
That treatment was a Battle Royal, and I have two more to go. My Oncologist tells me the next two won’t be as bad. I hope he’s right.
There was some light relief yesterday. I went to a “Look Good Feel Better” seminar. It helps women undergoing treatment for cancer to make them look good and feel better! We had a lesson in make-up, a wig demonstration, and they showed how to wear hats and scarves. They served a beautiful morning tea with sandwiches and fresh fruit. It was fun, and there were lots of laughs. It was most enjoyable. Apparently these seminars are run all over the world, and are financed by the makeup industry. We got lots of samples of makeup in our ‘show bags’.
I was sitting near a woman who had just had her 2nd ‘Taxotere’ treatment and I was interested to know how it had affected her. She described it as worse than ‘FEC’ but she definitely had not been hit like I had. Her muscles ached slightly, and she had some infections. The saddest sight at the seminar was seeing a beautiful young girl, probably in her early thirties, and about 7 months pregnant. I didn’t want to know what the problem was, because I knew it would not be good. On the other hand, it is amazing what they can do nowadays. I wish her a speedy recovery, and hope that all goes well for her.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
THE HALFWAY POINT
At last I have climbed the hill and have reached the half way stage of my Chemotherapy. It’s been a long steep climb. Hopefully, the journey on the other side of the hill will be a gentle slide down, and move more quickly than the upward climb. I go in on Thursday August 20th for treatment number 4.The cocktail of drugs in my Chemo will change this week. ‘Taxotere’ is the new drug. I believe it attacks the bones, the muscles and the skin. The first three treatments attacked the digestive system and inner organs. The likelihood is that my body will ache with the ‘Taxotere’. I will wait and see how badly it affects me. I was hoping to have a hit at badminton before the 'Taxotere' but I've missed out. I feel I need the need the exercise so badly.
I went to see Jill Ainslie, the radiotherapist a week last Monday. She was wonderful, and explained everything that would happen during my radiotherapy treatment. They have decided that my course of radiation treatment will run for 5 weeks, not 6 weeks, and I will begin a month after my Chemo has finished. I will have to go every week day for 5 weeks. Before my first session I will have a CT scan, and 6 tattoo dots, so they can hit the same spot with accuracy each time I go for my treatment. The actual treatment is painless, but Jill tells me I will get pain in the areas of surgery, and I will feel very weary. The weariness can continue for quite some time after the treatment. Hopefully, I will be feeling better by Christmas. It is a long journey!!!! I get very weepy....often. I cannot look at my bald head in the mirror. I think that losing my hair has been the worst thing for me. I look “The Victim”, and of course, I am! I always swore I would never see grey hair on my head. I will have no choice but to watch it slowly grow back....grey!
Life has been quiet since I last wrote. We have had no visitors staying with us. We did go out for dinner with Kerry, Gary, and friends Paula and Barry on our wedding anniversary on August 5th. We enjoyed the best Thai meal I’ve had since my visit to Thailand, and this was at our local Thai Restaurant! I’ve done my usual coffee mornings with friends, and we celebrated one of the “girls” birthdays with a luncheon last Wednesday. So my social life continues.
Joelle and Andrew have just rung and told us that they are expecting a baby in mid February. Colin and I are overjoyed. We have been waiting patiently for a long time to hear this news. In fact we had decided that perhaps they didn’t want children. We are very happy for them. Bernie and Harry (Joelle’s Mum and Dad) will be ecstatic. Good news always lifts the spirits.
Here’s hoping the next three weeks go quickly.
At last I have climbed the hill and have reached the half way stage of my Chemotherapy. It’s been a long steep climb. Hopefully, the journey on the other side of the hill will be a gentle slide down, and move more quickly than the upward climb. I go in on Thursday August 20th for treatment number 4.The cocktail of drugs in my Chemo will change this week. ‘Taxotere’ is the new drug. I believe it attacks the bones, the muscles and the skin. The first three treatments attacked the digestive system and inner organs. The likelihood is that my body will ache with the ‘Taxotere’. I will wait and see how badly it affects me. I was hoping to have a hit at badminton before the 'Taxotere' but I've missed out. I feel I need the need the exercise so badly.
I went to see Jill Ainslie, the radiotherapist a week last Monday. She was wonderful, and explained everything that would happen during my radiotherapy treatment. They have decided that my course of radiation treatment will run for 5 weeks, not 6 weeks, and I will begin a month after my Chemo has finished. I will have to go every week day for 5 weeks. Before my first session I will have a CT scan, and 6 tattoo dots, so they can hit the same spot with accuracy each time I go for my treatment. The actual treatment is painless, but Jill tells me I will get pain in the areas of surgery, and I will feel very weary. The weariness can continue for quite some time after the treatment. Hopefully, I will be feeling better by Christmas. It is a long journey!!!! I get very weepy....often. I cannot look at my bald head in the mirror. I think that losing my hair has been the worst thing for me. I look “The Victim”, and of course, I am! I always swore I would never see grey hair on my head. I will have no choice but to watch it slowly grow back....grey!
Life has been quiet since I last wrote. We have had no visitors staying with us. We did go out for dinner with Kerry, Gary, and friends Paula and Barry on our wedding anniversary on August 5th. We enjoyed the best Thai meal I’ve had since my visit to Thailand, and this was at our local Thai Restaurant! I’ve done my usual coffee mornings with friends, and we celebrated one of the “girls” birthdays with a luncheon last Wednesday. So my social life continues.
Joelle and Andrew have just rung and told us that they are expecting a baby in mid February. Colin and I are overjoyed. We have been waiting patiently for a long time to hear this news. In fact we had decided that perhaps they didn’t want children. We are very happy for them. Bernie and Harry (Joelle’s Mum and Dad) will be ecstatic. Good news always lifts the spirits.
Here’s hoping the next three weeks go quickly.
Friday, 31 July 2009
Nearly Half Way
It’s 31st July today, and I have just returned home after completing treatment number three. Three down, three to go. Nearly half way, but in truth, the half way point will be just before my fourth treatment which will be on the 20th August.
So, what has happened during these last three weeks? At the end of my last blog I wrote that I was hoping to go for a walk with Colin, and we did. I am finding that I am not getting enough exercise, and my body is craving exercise. Colin and I go for two or three walks a week, which is not enough for me. To compensate, I walk to the shops a couple of times a day, and go for a walk occasionally with friends. I need to start playing badminton again! The treatment doesn’t seem to bother me at all. Perhaps the only side effect I notice is a slight weariness during the first week, but it isn’t bad enough for it to affect me greatly. Physically I am really well. Mentally, the whole business is a strain. It is a long journey and the deeper you get into it, the longer it seems to get. Most of my friends say how quickly it is passing, but for me, it is slow. I feel low, I feel sad and I get depressed often, especially if I’m home alone. There are many tears. I would not wish this on anyone. It is a long hard road.
Last weekend was a happy release from my sadness. Graham, Nicole and the children came and stayed with us. It was lovely to see them. We met them in the city on Saturday afternoon and had some lunch. We then decided a trip up the river was a good idea—and it was. At home we ate the best seafood marinara I’ve ever tasted. The seafood was fresh from Victoria Market that morning. I made the sauce, and Nicole prepared the seafood. On Sunday, Grandma and Grandpa took Lachy and Jessica to the park just around the corner from home. They loved it. At lunch time, we all went down to Ricketts Point and walked along the beach, then had lunch in the cafe. They left from there and it was sad to see them go. They live so far away, and I don’t think we’ll see them again until Christmas.
On the Tuesday following, my friends Audrey, Margaret and Wyn, went to our local library where they were showing the original version of “To Kill A Mocking Bird” starring the gorgeous Gregory Peck. It was a great movie, and Gregory was just wonderful. The following evening, Colin and I went to watch “The Merchant of Venice”. Al Pacino was great as Shylock. It was another good movie.
I have to keep finding things like this to do. This is what helps me over the bad days, otherwise I would go crazy.
On Monday I go and see about my radiotherapy. I have to go every day for six weeks once I have finished my Chemo. I envisage having to wait the obligatory three weeks following my final Chemo treatment before they start on the radiotherapy treatment. It’s a long long road!!!
So, what has happened during these last three weeks? At the end of my last blog I wrote that I was hoping to go for a walk with Colin, and we did. I am finding that I am not getting enough exercise, and my body is craving exercise. Colin and I go for two or three walks a week, which is not enough for me. To compensate, I walk to the shops a couple of times a day, and go for a walk occasionally with friends. I need to start playing badminton again! The treatment doesn’t seem to bother me at all. Perhaps the only side effect I notice is a slight weariness during the first week, but it isn’t bad enough for it to affect me greatly. Physically I am really well. Mentally, the whole business is a strain. It is a long journey and the deeper you get into it, the longer it seems to get. Most of my friends say how quickly it is passing, but for me, it is slow. I feel low, I feel sad and I get depressed often, especially if I’m home alone. There are many tears. I would not wish this on anyone. It is a long hard road.
Last weekend was a happy release from my sadness. Graham, Nicole and the children came and stayed with us. It was lovely to see them. We met them in the city on Saturday afternoon and had some lunch. We then decided a trip up the river was a good idea—and it was. At home we ate the best seafood marinara I’ve ever tasted. The seafood was fresh from Victoria Market that morning. I made the sauce, and Nicole prepared the seafood. On Sunday, Grandma and Grandpa took Lachy and Jessica to the park just around the corner from home. They loved it. At lunch time, we all went down to Ricketts Point and walked along the beach, then had lunch in the cafe. They left from there and it was sad to see them go. They live so far away, and I don’t think we’ll see them again until Christmas.
On the Tuesday following, my friends Audrey, Margaret and Wyn, went to our local library where they were showing the original version of “To Kill A Mocking Bird” starring the gorgeous Gregory Peck. It was a great movie, and Gregory was just wonderful. The following evening, Colin and I went to watch “The Merchant of Venice”. Al Pacino was great as Shylock. It was another good movie.
I have to keep finding things like this to do. This is what helps me over the bad days, otherwise I would go crazy.
On Monday I go and see about my radiotherapy. I have to go every day for six weeks once I have finished my Chemo. I envisage having to wait the obligatory three weeks following my final Chemo treatment before they start on the radiotherapy treatment. It’s a long long road!!!
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